Day 38 – Beijing

Two things must you know about The Great Wall. 

One, it is great, 

Two, it is a w.. 

Oh, you've heard that one have you? Well you won't know that it is unbelievably steep in parts – which makes for great fun when watching Chinese women in stilettos. The Steep Wall of China just doesn't have the same ring I suppose. We also visited the MIng Tombs which I thought were vastly overrated – as graveyards go.

Since arriving in China we have noticed that one of the favoured pastime of the men folk seems to be hacking up as much phlegm – as loudly as is humanly possible without losing a lung – and then launching it onto the street for everyone to see. Here in Beijing a press campaign is being run to try and stop the habit (purely for the Olympics crowds later this year), however, so many people seem to do it that I am sure if it was stopped the earth may start to tilt on its axis with the missing weight of Chinese phlegm.

You think that is gross? Wait until you see a woman do it.

In the evening we decided that we must sample Beijing's world famous dish – Peking duck. We consulted our MIchelin Restaurant Guide referenced the Egon Ronay website but eventually used the age old, tried and trusted system of saying "This'll do, it has a menu in English and pictures'. We were instantly impressed with the open plan layout of the restaurant which afforded us splendid views of the kitchen, and enabled us to watch the master chef skillfully prepare our duck. We were slightly less enamoured as whilst eating we watched him strip to his waist and start having a wash in the sink, when he pulled out his razor and started having a shave we decided to pass on the banana fritters. All in all it was a very delicious meal and I believe I may have found the inspiration for Mr Wu's Leicester Square all-you-can-eat Chinese food emporium.

So far, I have counted 4,895,842 bicycles in Beijing.