Day 5 – Tokyo

Never let it be said that I don't know how to show Ciara a good time, today we were out of bed at 6am to visit a fish market, however, this is not just any fish market, this is the world's biggest fish market – what's not to like? Apart from the fish.

Tsukiji Fish Market is enormous (how else could it claim to be the biggest in the world?) watching men armed with knives, which are more akin to samurai swords, mince a tuna the size of James Corden into bite-size pieces in a matter of seconds is truly a site to behold – If we could get Corden to put on a tuna suit I would die a happy man. This is no place for vegetarians, certainly not the cop-out 'I eat fish, so what fish don't count'' variety, pretty much every stall has something moving on it – although a swift flick of the fishmongers wrist soon puts pay to that.

My next stop was the Hama-rikyu-telen (try asking for that after a night on the sake) gardens, which I thought would be a wise choice as I was now reeking of fish blood and guts so badly that 9000-year-old bonsai trees were wilting in my wake. A couple of hours later, having decided that being near people would not cause their olfactory organs to melt down, I head to the Museum of Science and Emerging Innovation.

This was a great place to visit, one particular presentation outlined in vivid detail the work being done, and the strides being made, by micro-biologists to eradicate disease in the third world. My favourite exhibition displayed an internet-linked microwave oven that played a pop video on the front screen which it automatically matched to the exact length of cooking time – and that my friends, is progress. Your children will never have to wait for their Pop Tarts without being able to watch Girls Aloud, who cares about malaria in Sudan when you have Cheryl Cole and a strawberry filled snack?

There was an cool demonstration of the house of the future, and in all seriousness, the work-shy sofa bound dole-sponger of the future is in for an easier life with his TV, stereo, lights, fan and any other electric device in the house being controlled from the comfort of his (stolen) iPad.

I finished the day watching, the world famous Honda advert Asimo the Robot walk, wave, dance and serve on command from his human master which really was an amazing glimpse of what robots can do for mankind in the future.

Or it could have been a little fella in a shiny white plastic suit entertaining gullible tourists.