Having read on the BBC website this morning all the news about the worst weather afflicting the UK for over 30 years, I felt momentarily guilty about the sun being so hot I was forced to spend the majority of the day lounging in the hotel gardens drinking cold beers and taunting the owners dogs. As I said, only momentarily.
In the early evening with the sun setting I visited the Convent of Santa Catalina which you will be staggered to learn was absolutely amazing – one of the highlights of the trip. It is a complete town within the city of Arequipa itself that up until 1970 was still only accessible to the nuns who lived there, the whole place being surrounded by 3m high walls. In 1971 some bright spark nun realised that they could all move to a corner of the town and charge tourists a small fortune to walk around the rest of the place. Capitalist nuns, what is the world coming to?
PERUVIAN POLICE REPORT No 4563217
Statement given to officer Sp.D. Gonzalez by R. Walsham Esq. regarding theft of belongings.
At approximately 10.00am on the 7th of January 2010 Mr Walsham handed to the receptionist in his hotel (whom was later identified as Patricia) a plastic bag, said bag contained two threadbare t-shirts, six pairs of under-crackers and three pairs of malodorous socks. All items were black with most sporting a Primark label. All items were to be laundered and returned to Mr Walsham smelling minty fresh in return for one American Dollar.
At approximately 3.00pm the following day (the 8th) the aforementioned bag was returned to Mr Walsham, his suspicions that something was amiss were first roused by the weight of the bag and upon further inspection it was discovered that two pairs of socks were missing. After interrogating Patricia at length she returned some time later with two pairs of socks that Mr Walsham had not seen before and looked of even more impoverished quality than the ones that he had submitted to her.
Mr Walsham visited the Police Station today to file a report for his insurance company records and having searched his hotel room at length we can confirm that the above mentioned crime did indeed take place, however, a claim one may not be possible as he no longer has the receipt for £0.39.
Signed by
Officer Sp.D. Gonzales
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